


I Hate Us

by FrigidAirDotCom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, I'm leaving it here, M/M, That's really it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 10:03:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15313116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrigidAirDotCom/pseuds/FrigidAirDotCom
Summary: "I love you I love you I love you, but I can't do this"





	I Hate Us

Dean was forever prone to losing his temper, but he didn't slam the impala door.  _ Ever.  _ He didn't glare at him like a monster and he didn't shake away from his touch like it burned his skin. He wasn't so abrasive because Dean cared about him. He wasn't so brash.  _ Ever.  _

 

And it scared him. 

 

Dean stomped into the bunker and nearly slammed the door on Castiel’s hand. He wasn't going to put up with whatever temper tantrum he was having any longer. 

 

“Okay, Dean, the car drive was  _ hell,  _ what is eating you-”

 

“ _ Oh _ let me tell you, that wasn't hell. I already went there for you.” Dean kept his body turned away from him. He muttered under his breath “An ‘angel of the lord’ my ass…”

 

Castiel wrenched his shoulder back then. 

 

“You look at me and say that again.” Castiel was firm in his sudden sorrow, but he couldn't meet his eyes. 

 

“I hate us.” Dean looked at the floor like a teen being scolded. “I hate you being angry and I hate mistakes and I hate us.”

 

“What? What about us?” 

 

Dean looked at him then. He saw right through his emotions, his passions, doubts, and his grace. Dean felt the love and life behind the man. The  _ man _ . Almost into the vessel part of cas. The human wants and needs that we're chained to him by power. He couldn't hurt that anymore. His anger wasn't selfish. He just wasn't worthy. 

 

“I love you.” Dean visibly deflated. A man defeated begged for mercy with 3 words. “I love you, I love you, I love you. But I can't do this.”


End file.
